it might not be a lot (but i feel like i'm making the most)
by Yahboobeh
Summary: Thanks to Nairil for the cover art! Despite the fact that she had flung herself head first into something that could only be described as convenient, she still maintained that she was so much more.
1. getting used to getting used (by you)

**8/25/16:** Going back through and updating chapters as I've found some typos.

 **A/N:** Look who has story completion issues! That's right, me. Instead of working on my other fics, I've had this kind of stuck in my head. Sorry. I hope you guys like this one though! It centers around the theme of Tenten viewing herself as convenient and seeing her insecurities manifest around her in the form of her teammates.. especially one in particular, who she has created an _arrangement_ with.

 **NOTE:** This is a 3/4 plot. That means it starts roughly 3/4 of the way into the story, but then jumps back to the beginning. Each section is numbered. The first chapter is 4 parts, 11-13 and then part 1. After that, everything goes in order.

 **MORE IMPORTANT NOTE:** **This fic is rated M** , as you will see in the first scene. For the most part, 11 really is as detailed as it gets. If it's too much for you, skip part 11, or the first 20 "paragraphs." Enjoy!

* * *

 **xi.**

Tenten clung desperately to the sheets, arched her back, pushing her knees further into the mattress, and moaned. Her throat was raspy, his hands were tight on her hips.

They moved in sync.

Her arms wobbled from holding herself up in her position but she persisted, willing her arms not to give out under her.

Soft, deep moans wafted tantalizingly from behind her, but were easily drowned out by her own, louder, cries of ecstasy.

Doggy style was her favorite position.

For one, the position left her able to be penetrated deeper, reaching and caressing spots that were apparently just outside of reach in the other usual positions. That sensation, that depth, it always pushed her over the brink of sanity. Sometimes she swore that it felt too good and that she could not stand another second of the constant pleasure.

That always enticed a proud smirk from reason number two.

She didn't have to look at him.

She didn't need to - didn't want to - see the perfect features of her partner, contorted in pleasure and withering over her at the point of climax. She did not like the way their eyes met in the midst of such intimacy.

Their encounters were supposed to have no obligations, but Tenten had fallen hard ages ago and her heart broke whenever he would leave after laying on top of her and watching her at her most vulnerable, her most private moments.

When they started they did so under her suggestion and the understanding that they were teenagers too busy with the realities of being ninjas to set aside time to find a lover to experiment with. She had sold it as another form of training and promised that nothing between them would change.

What Tenten hadn't realized then was the powerful pull of oxytocin.

Oxytocin was often known as the 'love drug.' It was produced during orgasm, birth and a plethora of other situations in life. The hormone was responsible for pleasure, trust and bonding.

It could not be fought off with weapons.

Sometimes Tenten wanted to cry. From pleasure or heartache, she was never quite sure, but she relished in the fact that doggy style hid her face.

And for these reasons, sex with Neji was best from behind.

His pace quickened and she lost her hold on both reality and the sheets with his quick, accurate thrusts. He tugged at her hips and between moans she pushed herself up and he caught her easily, pulling her back against his chest, their movements slowing. The hand that held her against him found a taught nipple while lips found her neck. The slowed pace and languid kisses were just as maddening as the quick, primal thrusts. Tenten wanted to cry whenever he did this (sometimes she did if he could not see her face). The act slowed down was too intimate, too sweet. It made her heart ache as her broken promise rang in her ear with each slow caress.

She closed her eyes and sighed, pushing back her anguish and tried to focus on the real reason they were supposed to be contorted together - pleasure.

His free hand slid down her belly, through the soft patch of hair and pushed into the gap between her legs. Her body jerked when his fingers began stroking her clitoris quickly and she stretched and arched and repeatedly announced the impending arrival of a powerful orgasm.

She disentangled herself from him and fell forwards on to her elbows, panting, her body relaxing fast. Behind her, Neji still thrusted and moaned. He issued one murmured warning before his breathing hitched and his movements slowed.

Tenten pressed her legs together as he withdrew and fell onto her stomach. Neji pushed himself off the bed, still catching his breath, and slipped into the bathroom.

There was a certain amount of cleanup after sex that was never really discussed. Tenten's legs were pushed tight together in an effort to delay the inevitable mess of secretions until Neji returned with a towel. Otherwise she would have a very unpleasant spot to deal with on her sheets.

Neji emerged from the bathroom, towel in hand, and passed it to Tenten. She discretely cleaned herself up and sat up in bed, watching as Neji shifted through the pile of their clothes on the floor and dressed.

Sex was rarely slow and romantic, like television and books had made her believe. Sex was often frantic and primal, the end goal being release. It was clumsy. It had weird sounds. It was messy. But it felt amazing. And that alone was worth every other bit of awkwardness that the world had failed to inform Tenten about.

"Aren't you going to get dressed?"

She looked over at Neji and stuck her tongue out at him, using her cheeky demeanor to hide the ache that was settling in her chest. Sometimes she wished he would stay in bed with her longer and hold her close. Sometimes he did, but those moments were brief. Besides, cuddling was for couples.

"Can't I be naked in my own bedroom?"

Neji ignored her question and smoothed out the last of the wrinkles in his shirt.

"We are supposed to meet Lee and Gai-sensei soon. I don't want us to be late."

Sometimes Tenten couldn't help but think how they sounded like a couple, even if they weren't one. She bit the inside of her lip.

Stupid hormones.

She nodded in agreement and pushed herself off the bed. She slipped into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet.

Tenten had learned early on (the hard way) to pee after sex.

No one had really mentioned UTI's before either.

She flushed the toilet and turned on the shower. She ran her fingers under the water until it was hot and stepped in, soaking herself.

She pushed her face under the water briefly and with a shaky exhale, she allowed a few tears to escape.

She shook her head, shaking away her sadness and began to clean herself methodically, starting with her hair.

She allowed herself seven minutes in the shower to compose herself before turning off the water.

Tenten dressed quickly and ran a towel through her hair before brushing and tying it up in two buns.

Neji had made short work of tidying her bedroom, picking up her clothes (which had been strewn about in a rush) and making her bed for her.

A smile slipped across her lips. She enjoyed the small gestures he preformed for her. Even if she was not his lover, their connection ran deep and nothing could change that.

At least, that's what she hoped.

 **xii.**

"Is he paying?"

Gai had requested they all meet for dinner around 7:30. It was 7:22 and Tenten had just realized she should have taken an inventory of the contents of her wallet before they left. She frowned. Knowing her luck it was empty.

"Only for the most youthful participant." Neji's joke was laced with his usual dull sarcasm, however she could hear a hint of amusement in his voice.

No doubt he could sense her tense mood, he always could. Granted, Tenten never was good at masking her frustrations. She realized, with a palpitation, that he was trying to cheer her up. A smile cracked on her lips and she whipped up a retort.

"Then you must be paying for your own meal." She laughed lightly and hoped he was satisfied enough with her attempt to shift her mood.

Neji chose not to respond and she took the moment to contemplate the contents of her wallet. She had just restocked on kunai and paper bombs and had splurged on a new battle axe, but if she ate light she would have enough. She struggled to do some quick math as they walked, too embarrassed to risk pulling out an empty wallet.

"I can buy your dinner."

"Stop that."

She sensed his curiosity and elaborated.

"Reading my mind like that. How do you do that anyway?"

"Your nose gets scrunched up whenever you try to figure out your finances."

Tenten frowned and he smirked, satisfied.

"Also, you showed me the supplies you bought the other day. Remember?"

"Yeah."

The truth was, she didn't really. She had been too distracted. She peaked at him out of the corner of her eye and felt her breath hitch when he returned her glance. She looked back ahead of her and focused on the shapes and shadows of the village around them.

They walked for a few more moments in silence, passing by noisy shops and stalls. The different scents of food wafted through the air and mingled in her nose. Her stomach growled.

"You don't have to buy my dinner, you know." Tenten would be lying if she said it was the first time he had offered. They bought each other meals on a somewhat regular basis, each knowing it would be made up for eventually.

They paused in front of the restaurant and Neji pulled back the bright lettered canvas to allow her to pass under it.

"I know," he replied.

* * *

 **xiii.**

Tenten felt an uneasy weight settle in her stomach and her appetite fled.

Chuunin exams.

The words hung lazily in the room as Gai scooped up another mouthful of beef from the grill on the table and chewed eagerly.

He swallowed and took a healthy sip form his drink.

"So," he grinned and looked down at them, proud as she'd ever seen him, "You all have been training very hard these past two years and I must ask you once more: Shall I sign my glorious team up for the chuunin exams?"

Neji replied first.

"Of course."

Tenten felt a knot in her stomach. Lee exploded in excitement.

"I am ready! We will definitely become chuunin this time!"

Gai's gaze settled on Tenten and she nodded.

"I suppose."

"Wonderful!"

Tenten flinched when Gai yelled.

"My students burn with the fire of youth!"

She shifted her weight in her seat a little and spoke up.

"Have I become stronger?"

Gai put down the glass he was about to sip from and looked over at her with surprise knit into his furrowed brows.

"Well..." he rubbed his chin in thought. But the damage was done before he finished his sentence. "You should have..."

Tenten frowned. Wasn't a sensei supposed to be more supportive? Sometimes, for a very brief moment, she wished she was Lee.

Gai tried to save the rest of dinner by attempts to cheer her up, while Lee piped in with (what he thought to be) reassuring comments about all the wonderful things she brought to the team. But things weren't skills and she tuned them out, poking idly at her rice with her chopsticks.

Neji said little to nothing. Even if Gai and Lee would have allowed him to get a word in, it wasn't in his nature to offer emotional comfort through words. He offered it instead through his subtle actions and constant presence.

There were times, however, when Tenten wanted to smack him. She didn't think it would kill him to speak up on her behalf every now and then.

But then again, he never had before. She had never needed him to before, never wanted him to. It was what he had come to expect. Tenten took care of herself. Why should a little sex change that?

When the bill came, she watched Neji place enough money on the table for the both of them.

She excused herself, meal unfinished, citing a need for fresh air.

Outside she leaned against the wall of the restaurant, studying her toes. Something tickled her cheek and when she went to scratch her face she found it was wet.

She pushed herself away from the wall and went home.

* * *

 **i.**

"Have you ever kissed anyone before?"

An arched eyebrow, subtle curiosity, weight was shifted from one arm to another and palms were pushed further into the grass.

"You mean romantically?"

She nodded and he pondered his answer.

A breeze rustled the leaves and brought a much needed chill to their skin. They were slumped under a tree, still catching their breath from their spar.

"No, I haven't," he finally conceded. If his admission embarrassed him, she couldn't tell. She had learned how to read him well enough, but there were times were he still eluded her.

Their eyes met and he asked her.

"Have you?"

She pulled her knees to her chest, hugging her arms around them, and shook her head.

She studied his features for a moment, looking past the teammate and seeing the handsome features of a young man.

"Why do you ask?" His voice was low and and piqued with interest.

"I'm just curious," she paused and studied his lips. They looked soft. She had heard kisses were soft and sweet. Her eyes slid back to his. "Have you ever thought about it?"

"Kissing?"

"Yeah."

He shrugged.

"I've heard it's supposed to be pleasant."

Silence moved in and she watched him carefully for a few moments before speaking.

"We should try it."

His brows furrowed in confusion, she was quick with her follow up.

"To see," she added lamely, "what it's like. I mean, we're getting a bit old to not know." She felt anxiety start to swim through her stomach as her insecurities started to pour out. "What if I'm thirty before I have a boyfriend? I can't have my first kiss at thirty. I won't know what to do. It's bad enough that I've made it to fifteen without it..." She felt his eyes on her and blushed.

He remained calm, as always and shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, our lifestyle does not leave us too much time to dedicate to finding a partner."

"Right," she agreed, "so we should try it. You know, so we at least know what to do." Her palms were slick as the absurdity of her suggestion dawned on her. She traced her fingers over each other, seeking a way to sooth her nerves. "I mean... if you want..." she began to fumble over her words.

He seemed to remain calm and curious and analyzed her emotional break down carefully and quietly before speaking.

"Sure."

She sat up a little straighter, taken aback.

"R-really?"

He inclined his head in a nod and she felt her cheeks warm and quickly pushed her bangs out of her eyes.

"I-I mean, just to practice. It wouldn't change anything between us, just so we know what to do, right?"

"Of course," he agreed.

Relief surged through her and a long moment of silence passed between them. She felt his eyes on her still and she looked up at him. He raised his brow, as if waiting for her to speak.

Her stomach dropped.

"Now?!" Her voice squeaked.

"Why not?"

She had no real reason that would stand up against 'why not?' She wasn't ready though. Wasn't there some mental preparation that happened before kissing? She didn't know. Her lips parted, but no words came out.

She looked over at him and chewed her lip.

"R-right... Okay..."

She scooted a little closer to him until their shoulders were almost touching. His body heat was warm and comforting, as a teammate's should be, and she let her eyes drift down to her lap.

He leaned in enough for their arms to bump together and she looked up. She could see the different flecks of color in his eyes and could distinguish the subtitles between his iris and pupil.

Slowly, carefully, she leaned in as well. Their lips pressed together lightly. Her lower lip fit nicely in the space between his lips. Her eyes fluttered shut. There were no fireworks, but his kiss was light and soft, as she had imagined, and it felt quite nice.

They parted a little and she took a shaky breath, opening her eyes a little. His arm was warm against her and she felt surprisingly relaxed for having just had her first kiss. It didn't feel strange to be next to him and she found solace in that.

Their friendship had survived their first kiss.

She leaned in for a second.

Instead of the shock she had expected him to express (they had only agreed on the one kiss, after all) he welcomed her advance and kissed her back.

They were braver this time. Their lips parted a little further and they allowed themselves to relax, although her spine tingled when she felt the palm of his hand press against her lower back.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for the read! Let me know what you thought! AS always, I thank you for taking the time to read and review. I have two more chapters already written. My goal for this one is to have it finished in the next couple of days for weekly updates. I'm not sure how many chapters it will be at this point. Probably around 5 or so?


	2. baby I ain't got no plan

**Part 2 - baby I ain't got no plan.**

 **ii.**

Second kisses turned into thirds, fourths, and fifths.

Tenten had begun to enjoy the sensation more and more and had suggested that, perhaps, if they wanted to kiss again, it would be okay.

The first time he slipped his tongue into her mouth she didn't know what to do. It didn't strike her as something Neji would know to do, let alone actually try. The appendage was strange and tasted sweet of tea and honey. It made her moan. It was a light, feathery squeak that erupted from her throat briefly before she silenced it.

But the sound enticed him further. He held her closer and kissed her deeper. Neji grunted lightly when her hips pressed against his and Tenten paused.

She eased out of the kiss and sat back on his lap, making sure to place some distance between their hips.

"Is something wrong?" His voice was low and alluring. Tenten noted that it sounded especially tantalizing when laced with desire and concern.

She shook her head - both to provide an answer and to clear her mind of the thoughts that were creeping in. His voice was not dreamy, he was her teammate. But that sound he made, the sensation she had felt against her… she wanted more.

"Are you sure?"

Tenten nodded and dropped her eyes to his stomach, not daring to look further south.

"I'm fine, I just... I mean, I'm..."

"Would you like to stop for now?"

 _Did_ she want to stop?

No. Not really. But they had only discussed kissing.

Teetered on the edge of Neji's lap and the delicate line they were walking (if not crossing) she found restraint.

"I mean, I should be getting home," she said, lamely. "Dinner and all that."

Neji nodded and withdrew his hands from her waist. She pushed off of his lap and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Tenten's feet met the floor and she stood.

A wetness that had pooled in the space between her thighs. It was a little uncomfortable and she wondered if Neji somehow knew of her arousal. She had certainly been aware of his.

In an attempt to distract herself from the workings of her own body she took a moment to study the sparsely decorated space that made up Neji's room. Nothing stuck out as particularly interesting until she found a photo of Team Gai on his night stand. Tenten was surprised at the photo's placement and found the opportunity for normalcy.

"I'm surprised you can sleep at night with Gai-sensei and Lee watching you."

Neji wrinkled his nose and she giggled.

"It's cute," she prodded further, "that you care."

"Don't, Tenten."

She thought it was a curious thing that a simple photo could cause him more embarrassment than the very intimate kiss they had just shared.

"Shall I tell them that their youthful smiles watch over you while you sleep?"

"Tenten..."

 **iii.**

The warm summer air seemed to cling to Tenten, heavy with humidity. She wondered if it would rain later. The humidity had made their training especially grueling, despite the early hour. When they had finished Tenten found the shade of a tree and laid down in the grass, splaying her limbs. Lee had tried to engage her in an additional five hundred pushups but she had declined, much to his disappointment.

After ten minutes of peace she found him panting at her side.

"May I have some water?"

Her hand searched lazily for the pack she usually wore at her hip. When she found it, her hand curled around a scroll. She sat up and unrolled it, summoning a mug of water.

Almost as quickly as it had appeared, the mug was snatched up by Lee, who began drinking it in eager gulps. A bead of water ran down his chin and she put away her scroll. When Lee had drank his fill, he lowed the mug and sighed.

"Thanks Tenten," said Lee, "this is great!"

"Of course, Lee."

"It's so great to have you and your scrolls here on this glorious day!"

Tenten imagined what would happen if she showed up without her scrolls, without the ability to summon water on command.

She chose not to respond and Lee thought nothing of it.

Instead she let herself slide back into her thoughts. The kiss was haunting her. She was easily stirred by the memory of the way that he felt against her and the past few days had been mostly consumed by warm cheeks and racing heart. Her evenings were often restless and she had even succumbed to her base desires the previous night. The orgasm had left her breathless, tangled in her sheets with her hand nestled between her legs.

She felt odd revisiting the memory with Lee right next to her. She was glad he was not a mind reader.

"Tenten?"

She was on the verge of a headache.

"Yes?"

"What are you thinking about?"

 **iv.**

The first time they slept together had been an accident.

They were in Tenten's bed practicing kissing when Neji had taken it upon himself to see what kissing her neck was like.

It had been one of the most amazing thing she had ever felt. At least until his lips and fingers roamed further and the remaining tendrils of her control slipped away.

The room was warm and dark. She almost felt claustrophobic as one by one, her senses were overwhelmed. His touch, his smell, the sweet honeyed taste of his tongue from sweetening his tea. Her ears rang pleasantly with the sounds of heavy breaths and the sweet, wet click of lips meeting.

Little details began to blur together after that and somewhere between the flick of his tongue on her neck and the gentle press of his hand on her hip she lost her virginity.

Then they were left a contortion of limbs in the sea of purple sheets, each struggling to regain control of their breath.

Neji rolled out of bed and Tenten tugged the blanket over her hips and pushed her bra strap back on her shoulder before sitting up. Her bra had been the only thing safe from Neji's eager hands (she had been too shy to undress herself and he had been too impatient to figure out the clasp.)

Tenten studied Neji, as if seeing him for the first time, and watched as he dressed quickly, taking a moment to admire the angles and curves that made up his body. Once dressed, Neji sat on the edge of her bed, hunched over, and ran his hand through his hair. She thought, with a pang of worry, that he looked defeated.

They both remained like that for several minutes, only the sound of their breathing filling the space between them.

And then he apologized.

 **v.**

The box in her hands was awkward and she tried to conceal it as best she could as she circled to the back of the store. A pharmacist stood behind a cream colored counter and Tenten approached cautiously.

"Can I help you?"

Tenten looked up at the woman behind the counter and felt her throat tighten.

"Um... I need some emergency contraceptive."

The topic of birth control had come up briefly the night before. It amounted to Neji asking her if "it was safe" right towards the end of it all. Their minds were foggy and Tenten had nodded, not quite understanding the question.

Of course, it was only directly afterwords that she realized he had been asking if she was on the pill.

The pharmacist did not judge or question, she merely spun around to grab a box off the shelf behind her. The box was placed on the counter between them and Tenten eyed it nervously. "Have you ever taken this before?"

Tenten shook her head.

After a rough explanation on the proper usage the pharmacist turned her attention to the register.

"Is there anything else I can get for you?"

Tenten placed the box of condoms on the counter. The woman rang her out. Her items were bagged. She paid. She left.

The lingering humidity had finally broken given way to rain. Thunder roared and the streets were empty. The timing was perfect and she smiled. With the cooling shower she knew the likeliness of running into a nosy companion would be highly unlikely.

Unfortunately for Tenten, Lee found her.

"Tenten!" he exclaimed, "How does this most youthful morning find you?!"

"Fine." She noticed that he was soaked to the bone, wet hair stuck in clumps to his face and spandex suit plastered to his skin. "Why are you out in the rain?"

Lee popped up on the balls of his feet, eager to explain.

"Endurance training! Gai-sensei said that shinobi should be prepared to battle in all the elements!" He glanced down at her wrist and the bag that hung from it. "Have you been shopping?"

Tenten gripped the bag in her hand a little tighter.

"What did you get?"

"It's… It's kind of personal."

Lee furrowed his brows and looked down at the bag. She moved it out of his line of sight.

"We are teammates," Lee said, looking back up, "I want to make sure you are okay."

"Everything is fine, thank you." She found the door to her building and unlocked it quickly. "I do need to take care of a couple of things though."

"Of course, Tenten! I will see you later!" Lee smiled widely and waved.

Tenten offered a half-hearted grin. She slipped behind the door and closed it. She sighed with relief.

 **vi.**

Two days later Tenten found Neji at the training ground. She had seen no reason to postpone their schedule and despite her nerves, she rose early, took medicine to ease the ache of cramps (the medicine had worked) and headed out to their usual meeting place.

The air was still crisp and cool and bits of dew that clung to the grass wet her feet. The sky was pink with a sunrise, promising a pleasant day ahead.

She saw him perched under his favorite tree (no doubt meditating) and she froze, toying briefly with the idea of turning and heading back home. She could tuck back into the safe warmth of her bed. It still smelled like him and the memories were warm and pleasant.

But he was her teammate. She had to face him eventually and the sooner that happened the sooner her life could regain some sense of normalcy. Besides, she knew he had already sensed her. She could feel the linger of his byakugan on her.

She pressed forward.

She announced her presence with a kunai. It sank into the tree three inches above his head and his eyes opened slowly, soft and easy with relaxation. She closed the distance between them and sank to her knees.

His post sex apology still puzzled her. She hope the apology was for the unexpected rush into sex and not any type of regrets he had.

Tenten wasn't sorry.

There had been a hunger, a craving she had to get out of her system. What it meant, she wasn't sure. Did she love him? Without a doubt... As a friend and teammate. But she'd also given him a very personal piece of her. To allow him to lay claim to her body, her virtue... Wasn't the first ti supposed to be romantic? She had always imagined it happening differently.

She needed to figure out how to proceed. So, with their gazes even and the sun still to the east she plunged in, head first.

"What do we do now?"

Neji took his time responding and it was still a little too early for her fuzzy brain to try and decide what he might be thinking. His pale eyes roamed over her face - trying to discover the answer she wanted to hear.

"What do you want to do?"

Tenten was caught off guard. She had not expected him to come up empty after scrutinizing her.

"Well," she wondered how to proceed. She had enjoyed their encounter and wouldn't be opposed to welcoming him into her bed again. "Well, we could go back to how things were, if you want, or we could..." She trailed off when Neji raised a brow, understanding the second suggestion. "I mean, we could just keep... you know..."

"Are you suggesting that you would like to sleep with me again?"

Tenten's cheeks burned with the realization that she had, in fact, suggested that. She thought about it and nipped the inside of her lip.

She remembered the way he felt, the way he looked, lying on top of her, his hair falling in inky strands over his shoulders. She remembered the sensations and the intimacy they had shared. Tenten realized that it would not be long before she craved his touch again.

Her lips felt chapped and she wet them briefly with her tongue before answering him.

"Yes," she admitted, "If that is something you'd want."

She realized, with a sudden fear, that the possibility of rejection was very real. She watched Neji study her, all of her, from the tips of her buns to her toes jutting out ever so slightly from under her bottom in her kneeling position.

"We can keep things as they are outside of... uh... the bedroom, you know? Like we talked about when we first..." she trailed off remembering the kiss, realizing she was rambling while he studied her, waiting for her to burn up the last bits of her nervous energy. "You know how we talked about how busy our lives are and all... We could, you know, learn how to do all of this stuff now and save a lot of time and awkwardness in the future... And nothing would have to change between us, I promise... We'd stay the same as we always have been..."

Tenten had run out of words and concessions that might convince him to engage in such a very un-Neji like arrangement. She didn't think unconditional intimacy would ever have been something he would consider, but as his eyes landed back on hers she knew his answer, even before the slight nod he gave her.

Tenten felt relieved and felt an urge to wrap her arms around him but suppressed it. He had agreed to more sex, not to be her boyfriend.

"Ok, sex it is." She fell quiet again for a moment, feeling awkward. What happened next? Did people schedule sex?

Neji chuckled at her sudden bluntness and stood up. She stood as well and felt silly when he cracked a smile and repeated her, with a hint of jest and acceptance in his tone. He slid into his preferred stance, raising his arms and activating his byakugan. Tenten's hand sought a scroll and they fell into the familiar pattern of training.

"Sex it is."

* * *

 **A/N:** Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Thank you again for taking the time to read and review!


	3. no one said it would be easy

Chapter 3 - No one said it would be easy (cause living, it ain't easy)

 **vii.**

A bird chirped and Neji glanced up at the sky.

Tenten's heart fluttered.

She was in love.

It had not taken long. She couldn't pinpoint the exact moment she had fallen, but she suspected it had something to do with the degree of tenderness he showed her when they had sex.

For every moment of frantic, hormone induced passion, Neji could conjure an alluring gentleness that sent her head over heels.

Even on the days that the temperatures surged towards triple digits and the air was wet and heavy with humidity she still wanted him.

And when the only relief that her fan provided them was the moves t of air, she still crawled into his bed and ignored the way their bodies protested and perspired for the promise of his touch.

The only downside was that convincing him to stay in bed was impossible. Tenten wanted nothing more than to lay by his side and be held like a lover. But never lingered.

They did not act like a couple outside of the bedroom. Kisses were reserved for foreplay and caresses were meant to be only against naked skin. The only thing that seemed to follow Tenten outside of her bed were the light palpitations that pounded irregularly in her chest when their eyes met.

It had not taken long at all for Tenten to break her promise.

 _Nothing will change._ She scoffed inwardly. _So much for that._

Tenten looked over to him now, seated only a foot or so away from her, focus still on the sky. She spied a couple of sparrows perched on a branch. They sang and chirped and pecked playfully at each other. She knew Neji was watching the sparrows too. She wanted to rest her head on his shoulder and watch the birds. She wanted to nuzzle against him and breathe in his scent.

But they were not dating.

If Tenten wanted to immerse herself in Neji she had to use sex.

She was learning how easy it was to persuade him. She felt as if she held some strange power over him. Tenten supposed she should feel guilty for having such sway, but she didn't. If Neji could control the very rhythm of her heartbeat, then Tenten could manipulate his hormones.

It was almost surprising how her cool and calculated teammate could be won over with little more than a glance. And once Tenten had cast her spell, Neji would easily disregard his judgement for the promises of a tryst.

She could persuade him to be risky. Had it not been for his quick thinking and byakugan, Tenten was sure they would have been caught by now.

The sparrows flew off, in search of food and a breeze picked up.

It carried her voice to his ear when she said his name. When he turned to answer her she pushed onto her knees and closed the distance between them. He pulled her close and she crawled onto his lap.

She pressed her hips into his and he moaned. When they broke their kiss she saw the way his eyes had darkened with lust. Tenten grinned wickedly and kissed him again. She felt his arms tight around her and was content.

Her laughter rang out as Neji rolled them over and hovered above her. She wrapped her arms around his neck while his hands roamed and let her senses be consumed by him. His touch was all she ever wanted. He unbuttoned her pants and Tenten knew that it all was worth the chance to be held by him.

Was it selfish? Yes.

Manipulative? Yes.

But she wasn't perfect, nor was she willing to compromise the delicate line they were walking. She moaned when he found the space between her legs. He focused diligently on her release before claiming her in the field.

Tenten was convinced that things were fine as they were. At least for now.

 **viii.**

Tenten's stomach ached. She rested a hand ginelrgly on her distended belly. Under her bottom the white paper covering the exam bed crinkled loudly with each minute movement. She had to pee again.

She let out a frustrated groan and laid back on the bed, glancing up into the fluorescent light above her. Where there should have been bare, ugly bulbs was covered with a translucent blue panel with clouds. Intended, no doubt, to help patients stay calm. Tenten thought it was stupid. The thin excuse for a pillow was also under the paper and it protested loudly in her ears while she contemplated if _anyone_ looked up at the fake clouds and thought _'Oh, good. Now I can relax.'_

There was a brief knock at the door before it squeaked on its hinges.

Tenten saw pink and sat back up to find the warm smile of Sakura in front of her.

"Good morning Tenten."

"Morning Sakura."

Sakura approached the exam bed and sat down on a stool before hunching over Tenten's chart.

"Your vitals look good."

Tenten nodded.

"And the nurse had you submit a urine sample?"

"Yes." Tenten shifted awkwardly while Sakura jotted down a few notes. "I see you're currently taking an oral contraceptive?"

Tenten bit the inside of her lip and tried to reassure herself. There were lots of reasons women used the pill, not just sex. For all Sakura knew it could be medical. Of course, Sakura held in her hands the very answer to that question if her curiosity piqued her.

It was not medical.

"Tenten?"

She snapped out of her thoughts and rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly.

"Oh, sorry, um yes."

"Ok," Sakura seemed unfazed by the admission and Tenten relaxed a little. Sakura flipped to another page in her chart and jotted something down before closing it and standing up.

"Ok, let's see if we can figure out what's bugging you."

Tenten nodded and laid down. The paper screeched and the clouds mocked her. She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly as Sakura pressed down on her stomach.

Unpleasant was a word, the same way 'fuck off' was a phrase. But Sakura was not deserving of her curses (the clouds were, definitely, but not Sakura). Tenten grit her teeth and grunted. She felt like her bladder might burst.

Sakura's hands left her stomach for a moment and Tenten relaxed. But it was only brief before the medic started pushing against her hips and intestines, trying to feel every inch of her guts, asking questions while Tenten tried not to kick her away.

"Does it hurt to pee?"

"Yes."

"Have you been going often?"

"Yes."

"How often?"

"Very."

Sakura pulled away and rested her hands on her hips.

"How often is 'very'? I can't really put that on your chart, it's not enough information, as I'm sure you know."

Tenten huffed and sat back up, wincing slightly.

"Every couple of hours or so."

Sakura nodded and pulled out her chart and made a note.

"Any pain in your lower back?"

"No."

"That's good."

"You mean to say it could be worse?"

Sakura tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and nodded.

"If it is what I suspect it to be, which is a UTI, then yes, it could be worse. If left untreated you could develop a bladder and even kidney infection."

"Those sound unpleasant."

"They do," agreed Sakura, "I've never had one before." She looked down over her charts again. "You said you've had this pain for a couple days?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, well the urine test will tell us for sure if theres any signs of infection but all the other signs are there and I know it's uncomfortable so I'm going to go ahead and prescribe you an antibiotic so you can get a jump start on it. Make sure you take the entire corse. You'll feel better in a couple days but if you don't take all of the pills it could come back."

"Noted," Tenten replied dryly. She couldn't imagine willingly putting herself through this pain again. "What causes these anyway?"

Sakura looked flustered and Tenten wished she hadn't asked that out loud. Sakrua coughed and tucked another strand of hair behind her ear.

"Well, there are a couple causes. Some women are just more prone to them than others but basically it's a bacterial contamination." Sakura was losing her train of thought, trying to hide behind Tenten's chart. Her eyes fell on the paper in front of her and her hair fell from behind her ear. She tucked it back again.

"Um, I don't have it noted on your chart." More hair tucking. "Are you, uh, sexually active?"

Tenten's jaw dropped. She then closed it abruptly, not wanting to be caught, however Sakura did not look up from her chart.

Tenten didn't know what to say. Anyone else she would say yes. The doctor who gave her the birth control pill should have marked it on her chart!

"Well," Sakura coughed again and pushed more hair out of her face. "Um, if you are, I would suggest using the bathroom... after... it's common with women... I hear. If you were to do that you shouldn't get another one. I also would recommend, a pelvic exam... if you were sexually active. And, uh, if so I would also advise you to practice safe to avoid STI's and pregnancy." Sakura blushed. "And you, uh, know how to put on a condom, right?"

Tenten was flabbergasted. She tried to hide it. She raised a brow and tried to give Sakura the most unimpressed-Neji-like look she knew of and it worked. Sakura met her gaze, flinched and looked back down to her chart.

"Right, you probably do... So, um, is there anything else?"

"N-no, I'm fine," said Tenten. "Thanks Sakura."

Tenten saw Sakura's shoulders drop in relief and she scribbled something on a pad and ripped a sheet off, handing it over to Tenten.

"Stop by the pharmacy on your way out and I'll let you know what your lab results are when I get them." Sakura turned to leave and paused, spinning back on her heel, as if remembering something. "Oh, also, I should warn you." She stepped up to Tenten's side and leaned in towards her, lowering her voice to a whisper. "Don't let Tsunade-sama do the pelvic exam."

Tenten found the advice awkward and unusual. But she recalled the hokage's sharp red nails, inhuman strength and infamously short temper. She swallowed and nodded.

Tenten thanked Sakura for the advice, filled her prescription, used the bathroom and went home.

 **ix.**

"This is hardly the place," he hissed between fevered kisses.

She ignored him. If that was true, he wouldn't have followed her into the bathroom.

They fumbled in the dark, too paranoid to turn on the lights.

On the other side of the door was the hotel room they were staying in. It was a small room - the only one available - and it housed two snug double beds. In the far bed, they sounds of Lee and Gai's snores penetrated the air softly. The bed next to it was empty.

They had shared a bed before on many occasions. Separate bedrooms on a mission was a luxury and not something that could often be afforded. They had always just been pleased to be spared sharing the space with Lee (a known kicker) or Gai (who snored loudly).

However, this was the first time they had shared a bed since the shift in their relationship and Tenten, half asleep, had snuggled into his back and wrapped an arm around his waist before her eyes snapped open. She realized her mistake far too late and her face flushed. Cuddling wasn't part of their arrangement. So, she tried to remedy the situation the only way she knew how. Her hand slid south and she listened for the hitch in his breathing. Her hand moved slow and she heard him hiss her name. It was her only warning to stop. She ignored it and he made no move to stop her. It took only moments to lure him into the bathroom.

She kicked off her shorts and panties and felt his hand on her thigh. Neji lifted her off the floor and pressed her back into the cool door. His lips found her neck, craned as she arched her back and bit back a gasp. He abandoned her neck to focus at completing their task quickly and quietly. Tenten bit her lip, holding back a moan. Their noses brushed and lips met with a soft exhale. Her fingers wove into his hair, finding his scalp easily and he swallowed her pants and whimpers with a long, un breaking kiss.

 **x.**

"Truth or Dare?" A wicked grin slid across Ino's face and her eyes glowed. She was up to something.

Tenten wanted nothing to do with it.

"Neither, thank you."

"Come on, Tenten, it's fun!"

"I'd rather not..."

Ino leaned in, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"Come on, are you afraid I'll try to trick you or something?"

"I know you will."

"Please, Tenten?"

"No."

"C'mon. Hinata said she'd play too."

Over in the corner, Hinata blushed and tried to hide in her jacket, suddenly very interested in intricacies of the woodgrain in the table.

"No."

"Just one round?"

"I don't want to, Ino." Tenten was starting to feel her nerves fray. Sakura gave her an empathetic look.

Ino frowned and released Tenten from her grasp.

"You spend way too much time with that teammate of yours, so stubborn. I just want to have a little fun and get some gossip."

Tenten sighed, frustrated.

"There is no gossip, Ino. All we do is work!" She had agreed to a girls night out, which she had anticipated to mean dinner. Not dinner and sleepover games.

"Oh, come on, something has to be going on in this village."

Tenten sighed, exasperated, and pointed to Sakura.

"Sasuke isn't here."

She pointed to Hinata.

"Naruto isn't here."

She pointed to Ino.

"You know whatever you've been up to."

Lastly she pointed to herself.

"And as you said, I spend too much time with my teammates to be any fun, therefore confirming the fact that I also have no gossip."

Tenten took stock of her whirlwind and found Sakura and Hinata in the corner frowning and Ino looking irritated and displeased.

Ino turned and pointed at Tenten.

"You're awfully defensive for someone who doesn't have any gossip."

"I disagree," Tenten said, crossing her arms. She was feeling her stubbornness swell. Perhaps she had been spending too much time with Neji. She felt her face flush.

Ino must have seen the way her cheeks burned and zeroed in.

"You have a secret!"

"No."

"Yes!"

Sakura and Hinata piqued up and leaned in.

"Oh! What is it!?" Ino gripped Tenten's shoulder with renewed vigor. "It must be about a guy, right?" Ino pulled her close and she struggled to sit back up. "You _never_ want to talk about guys!"

"Because I don't have time for guys."

"Don't lie, Tenten. How have you not made a move on Hyuuga yet? He's so cute and I bet he's totally into you."

Tenten snorted and tried to force a convincing laugh.

"Sure."

"Oh come on, you know it. You're the only girl he hangs out with."

"He's my teammate, he doesn't have much of a choice. He has to hang out with Lee too."

Ino thought for a moment, trying to overcome that obstacle.

"So," she tried, "you are telling me that you have probably definitely seen him with his shirt off at least once and have never even _thought_ about it?"

Tenten's face burned. If only Ino knew how true her words were.

"I really don't think Hinata want's to hear about her shirtless cousin," Tenten mumbled.

"You didn't say no!" Ino grinned with some satisfaction and released her grip on Tenten, who sighed with relief.

Before Ino could press further Sakura spoke up.

"I actually might have some gossip."

Tenten looked over at her, relieved at the prospect of salvation.

"What is it?" Ino hunched over the table to get closer to Sakura.

"I think Tsuande-sama is trying to set up another chuunin exam. With Suna."

* * *

 **A/N:** This update is a day late, I know, but here it is. I hope you enjoyed and as always thanks for taking the time to read and review!


	4. i cursed myself for being surprised

Part 4- i cursed myself for being surprised that this didn't play like it did in my mind.

 **xiv.**

Tenten sat hunched by the fire, twirling a kunai around her finger. Her watch was almost over but she wasn't tired.

Her fingers moved on their own, twirling the sharp blade with the thought of injury far from her mind.

She listened to the cracks and pops in the fire as smoke and embers rose from the flames. She tried not to look away from the small campfire because her eyes would only wander the the lump of long dark hair and blankets.

And even if her eyes did not move directly to him (they would) she knew seeing the sprawled, snoring mess of Lee would remind her of the short time that remained until the chuunin exams.

Sakura's information had been accurate and only a week after that horrid dinner, Tenten allowed Neji to fuck her senseless before meeting Lee and Gai for a meal which she hardly tasted.

On the other side of the fire would be her sensei, the man who had offered them the opportunity again. Tenten had later shared her worries with him in private, however he brushed off her concerns and reminded her to burn with the passion of youth, be less carefree and hope it paid off.

How could someone both burn with the passion of youth and be less carefree?

She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to focus on something else. When she opened them again Lee was at her side.

"You could have slept a little longer," she mumbled, still watching the fire.

"I know, but I thought you might enjoy some sleep." He grinned at her, but she kept her pensive demeanor. Lee frowned. "Tenten, is everything alright?"

She pulled her gaze from the fire and flashed him a small smile.

"Yeah, everything is fine."

"Are you sure? You seem distracted."

She _was_ distracted. She thought she might burst at the seams. More than anything she wanted to tell Lee the truth, to unload her burden onto someone else.

She knew the exact words she would say:

 _I'm sleeping with Neji.  
_ _I love him.  
_ _But it's just sex._ _  
He doesn't love me.  
_ _It wasn't part of the deal._

But the words got caught on her tongue. She settled for the easy answer.

"I'm fine, Lee. Just wondering what I should pack for the chuunin exams."

Lee grinned and leaned in spreading his arm above them in an arc.

"Everything!"

Tenten snorted.

"Everything?"

"Yes! If anyone could pack everything, it surely would be you!"

"Like what?"

"A super long ladder! The longest one in the world. And and endless supply of water! And snacks!" Lee began ticking each item off on his finger. "And a few extra spandex suits."

Tenten glared at him.

"I am not your pack mule, Lee."

"Of course not, Tenten! A pack mule in the desert would be inconvenient and cumbersome. You are much more capable."

"Lee!" she tried to keep her voice lowered but Lee always knew which buttons to push, even if he didn't realize it.

"Please Tenten! Two extra jumpsuits? It would be so nice to have them."

"We have no idea how the exams will play out or how much time - if any - we would have to pack. I think we should stick to the essentials."

"But you can store everything!"

"Learn how to seal your own jumpsuits."

She pushed herself up and stepped away from the fire. A small walk before bed would clear her head.

 **xv.**

They were caught once.

They had not noticed at first, having been so lost in their passion.

Neji's room was never her favorite place, but she wasn't about to deny herself the intimacy. She always suspected that with so many keen eyes around that they could easily be discovered. Neji had promised her that their clan had a strict ethical code about using their byakugans for such crude means.

She believed him, why shouldn't she?

The Hyugas were very traditional.

Which is how she found herself that day, in his bed, looking down at him from her straddled position. Neji was laying under her, hands gripping her hips tightly.

His eyes never left her. She seemed to trap him in a trace whenever she was on top.

She supposed that they were being very untraditional.

Her hair was loose, falling over her shoulders and barely covering her breasts. The only modesty was the blanket that was pooled around her waist and over their legs.

She would roll her hips and arch her back and keep her moans quieter. Just because he had assured her no one would look didn't mean she was willing to let them hear.

With shortened breath, Tenten would curse and then pant her lover's name and he would moan lightly in response.

But he looked away. To the right. Tenten paused.

The door was open, no more than a gap and Tenten thought she could see someone on the other side.

Pale eyes widened before the door slid shut.

Neji sat up and cursed. But it was too late. The secret was no longer their own.

They exchanged a nervous glance as the reality sank in.

"Who was that?" she whispered.

"Hinabi," Neji frowned, "she's always been one to stick her nose where it doesn't belong."

"Will she tell anyone?"

"I will talk to her."

"When?"

Neji paused as if in thought. Now was the appropriate time, for sure, but they were teenagers. And horny teenagers seldom made the appropriate choice.

Neji shifted them, laying Tenten under him and pushed into her slowly. She sighed.

"Later."

 **xvi.**

Two days later Tenten had dinner, again, with Ino, Sakura and Hinata. The meal itself was mostly uneventful, but Tenten thought that Hinata seemed a bit quieter than usual (which was a feat in itself).

Towards the end of the meal they made eye contact briefly. Hinata snapped her eyes down to her plate quickly and Tenten felt adrenaline spike through her chest and settle in her belly, morphing into anxiety.

She knew.

Tenten cursed inwardly. Her eyes snapped down to her drink and her face burned.

Hinabi had told her, she was sure. In her mind, Tenten could picture the conversation:

 _"Hey nechan, want to know a secret?"_

 _"I-I suppose, what is it, Hinabi?"_

 _"I saw Neji-san in bed with a girl. I think it was his teammate."_

Perhaps they should have stopped what they were doing so Neji could chase Hinabi.

At least Hinata could keep a secret.

But if Ino sensed the shift in the mood and pressured Hinata for an answer then Tenten was not sure how long the poor girl could hold out.

Luckily for Tenten, Ino had gone on a date with Sai and was reciting every last detail of her evening.

Sai was her saving grace.

 **xvii.**

Tenten sat hunched over a pad of paper, pen in hand. She was working on a list of supplies.

Seeing as she would be the one doing the majority of the packing, it only made sense to have a list. Of course, she was having trouble focusing on it.

Neji had knelt behind her and slid his arms around her waist. She felt his lips on her neck and rolled her head back, giving him more room to kiss. She squirmed, feeling his hands roam, and she was surprised at his boldness. They were at their usual training grounds. Of course, he could aways use his byakugan to see if anyone was approaching. Tenten wondered if he would remember that in the midst of it all.

She gasped and pressed her back into his chest. His touch was gentle but there was little doubt of his intentions. As much as she wanted to melt into his arms (she probably still would) she wanted to focus on her list.

"Neji," she sighed his name and it only persuaded him. He found her jaw and covered it with nips and kisses. Her head rolled back further and her body reacted to his touches. "Neji," she tried again, trying to pull herself from the fog of lust. "I need to finish this list."

She felt the pad pulled from her fingers and heard it land with a light thud a few feet away.

"Finish it later," her murmured.

She felt fingers slip into her bra and tried to hold out a little longer.

"And what should I tell everyone when we have to admit we are un prepared? That I tried to do my best but Neji Hyuuga couldn't keep his hands off of me long enough to get a list together?"

"I'll help you later." He caught her lips with his own and gently laid her down under himself.

Her pants were unbuttoned and he took his time tugging them off her hips, placing kisses on her stomach. Her body had given into him fully, but her brain was lagging, her words still spilling out, even as she felt the grass on her bare bottom.

"Lee thinks I should pack the world's longest ladder." She paused to gasp at his teases. "Can you help with that?"

Neji paused and looked up at her from her stomach. His eyes were glowing with desire and Tenten waited for him to respond. He tipped his head down between her legs and barely heard his answer before she felt his kiss. Instantly her back arched and she moaned, blindsided by the new sensation.

"Only if he stands on the other side of it."

 **xviii.**

Sometimes Tenten would lay in bed, alone, and contemplate what the fuck she was doing with her life.

After a day of cliff climbing with Gai (who had abandoned her the instant he saw Kakashi) he had held his hand out for water and praised her convenience.

And he'd reminded her, yet again, to be more carefree.

But carefree wasn't a trait that came easily to Tenten. Even if she put up a good front, she would often curl into bed (as she had tonight) and pull of the mask.

When she was feeling particularly miserable (she _was_ feeling particularly miserable), she would tick off her list of failures and cry a little.

The past few months had seen a fairly consistent list:

Unable to use medical ninjutsu

Not Tsunade's apprentice

No trademark jutsu of her own

Lee thinks she's convenient

He gets that thought from her _sensei_ (of _all_ people), who felt the same

She was in love, and pathetic for being in love

She was even more pathetic for thinking that casual sex was a good environment to nourish love

She had thought that casual sex was a good idea

She thought casual sex wouldn't change anything

She knew it hadn't for Neji

He didn't love her

Therefore, he also thought she was convenient

She always saved the worst for last. She could justify and brush off Lee and Gai's comments. "I'm not convenient, my jutus is. These scrolls that I spend hours on are convenient. I am _not._ "

But with Neji, the convenience lied in his unrestricted access to her body. There was little way to spin that. It was her very being. _She_ was convenient.

The rest, she could often tolerate and find a way to find something positive in her failures, but whenever she got to Neji she would start to cry. There was nothing positive about what she had done.

Sure, the sex felt good (who was she kidding, it was amazing) and his closeness was everything she craved it was just a vicious cycle.

She shouldn't have given herself to him so willingly. She should not have suggested that stupid kiss. She should have been coy and enticing. She should have made him _want_ to kiss her.

She was stupid, she thought bitterly.

She could have taken her time, seduced him properly and been in a real relationship. Instead she had stripped naked and spread her legs at the first chance she got.

She was stupid.

But she wouldn't stop. She couldn't.

She would feel better in the morning.

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry this update came a few days late. I've been busy with work and reading and getting excited about fall (my favorite season). Anyway, I think that this fic will wrap up in the next chapter. Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I just checked the stats, this has a ton of views! I hope you guys can take the time to let me know what you think. I love feedback. :)


	5. friends and lovers

Part 5 - friends and lovers, their features bleeding together in his brain (and once it started, it was harder to tell them apart).

 **xix.**

"The weapons store is fully restocked, Tsuande-sama," said Tenten. She bowed to the Hokage. Lee followed her motion.

"Good, Tenten," said Tsunade. She looked at each of them in turn. "You and Lee make for an efficient pair."

"Oh, but Tsunade-sama!" Lee straightened back up. "It was really all Tenten! I just accompanied her! This mission would not be complete if it were not for Tenten and her scrolls! Aren't we so lucky to have such a convenient konoichi in your service, Tsunade-sama?!"

Tsunade had not been prepared for Lee's enthusiasm.

"Uh, well, yes, I suppose it is."

"Tsunade-sama," said Tenten, "are we dismissed?"

Tenten studied Tsunade's reaction. Apparently this half of Team Gai was throwing her for a bit of a loop today. After all, Tenten had never been one to be short with the Fifth.

The woman leaned back in her chair a little before waving her hand.

"Ah, yes, you two are free to go."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama," Tenten bowed again before she turned on her heel to leave.

"Tenten, wait!" Lee was at her side, tugging at her sleeve. "What shall we do now? Gai-sensei still isn't back from his mission. And Neji said he wouldn't be able to get away from the compound until tomorrow. I was thinking we could go train! Perhaps 500 laps around the village to start? And then we could-"

"No, Lee." Tenten grit her teeth. She reminded herself to count to ten before she spoke again. "Sorry. I mean I have things to do."

"Is it anything I can help with? Perhaps after I can get my stuff for you to seal for the chunin exams?"

"Lee..." She was tired. Dealing with his energy under normal circumstances was one thing, but today she had not had Neji or Gai for a buffer. Several hours with his over excited personality and hearing an endless stream of "youthful" suggestions yelled in her ear had left Tenten physically and mentally exhausted. Her shoulders were tense and the mild headache that had been nagging her since lunch was teetering on the edge of a migraine. Lee didn't seem to notice any of this.

"It will be fun, Tenten! We can pack! And run laps!"

"You mean _I_ can pack. I told you, Lee, no." She yanked her sleeve from his grasp and pulled the door to Tusnade's office open.

"But where are you going?" he asked. His brows were furrowed and Tenten saw his features droop. He was disappointed.

"To the bath house."

"Why?"

Tenten turned around and put her hands on her hips. She narrowed her gaze at him.

"Because you can't bother me there!" Tenten quickly turned and left. She did not want to see Lee's face after such harsh words.

Once she was in the hall she ran her fingers through her bangs and frowned. She felt bad being so short with Lee. He truly meant well. But the frustration and annoyance easily overpowered any guilt she felt. She would apologize later.

What would be harder to overcome was the realization that her entire outburst had been witnessed by Tusnade and Shizune.

 _Great,_ she thought, _of all people I could flip out in front of..._

Tenten had intended, to be honest, to go home. Perhaps take a shower and see if she could rescue Neji from whatever boring meeting he was stuck in.

But after her outburst she thought that a soak would be good for her. It would at least soothe the ache in her shoulders.

She descended the stairs, stepped out into the streets and set a corse for the bath house.

 **xx.**

The hot bath was more relaxing than she had expected. And the best part was that she was alone.

Tenten rested her head on her folded arms, protecting her face from the tiled floor. She slipped somewhere between asleep and awake and pondered if this level of consciousness was how Neji felt when he meditated.

It was nice.

But it didn't last long.

The door opened, bringing in a gush of cool air and two patrons. Tenten ignored the chill and kept her eyes closed.

She listened to the sounds they made. The taps were turned on and water splashed off the tiles in uneven patterns while they washed. No one spoke, not even after the taps were turned off and she was joined in the bath.

Once they had settled in the water, Tenten was addressed.

"Something bothering you?"

Tenten opened her eyes. She was shocked when she recognized the voice behind her. She sat up and turned around.

Sitting across from her was Tsunade.

Shizune was at the Hokage's side, as always, and Tenten felt her cheeks warm. She felt self conscious and crossed her arms over her chest.

"T-Tsunade-sama... I'm sorry about earlier."

"It's fine. We all have moments like that. I do have to commend you on tolerating your team so well and as often as you do."

"Well, they're like my family, I guess."

"And families often fight," Tunade said. She met Tenten's gaze, suddenly serious and Tenten shivered. "You seem distracted lately. What's on your mind?"

She shrugged. Tenten didn't think it was very appropriate to discuss her personal life with her boss.

"You should tell us," Tsuande said, "talking out your problems is healthy."

"Teammates fight all the time," said Shizune, "It's perfectly normal. Tsunade-sama and I want to help."

Tenten frowned.

"If you haven't noticed, my team isn't exactly normal."

Tsunade rubbed her chin.

"That's one way of putting it," she said. "But, they have good hearts and mean well."

"Yeah... I just wish... I don't know, that I didn't always have to be the babysitter."

"Tenten, you feel the same as every woman on every team I've ever known."

"Really?"

"Of course, ask any of your friends. Ask me! I had to put up with Jiraya - still do!"

Tenten smiled.

"So it _doesn't_ get any better."

Tsunade laughed. Her head tipped back, her lips spread wide and her chest heaved. The laugh echoed off the tiles and bounced around the room. It was oddly refreshing and Tenten relaxed a little while Tsunade composed herself.

"Sadly, no," Tsunade said. She wiped a tear from her eye and looked back at Tenten with a grin. "But you do get a little more tolerant of their antics and they get a little more tolerant of your yelling."

Tenten nodded and looked down at the water. It was nice to be reassured that her outburst had been normal but Lee wasn't really her problem. The stress of spending a day with Lee had not been bad enough to warrant such a reaction, it had just been the final straw.

She felt Tsunade's gaze on her and looked back up. Tsunade's lips were drawn in a tight line and her brows were furrowed slightly. Tenten suspected that the Hokage was trying to decide if there was more to her story or not. She supplied an awkward smile, hoping to throw off the Fifth. She wasn't sure if it worked.

"Tenten, why don't you join us for dinner, my treat."

"Oh-Of course! Thank you, Tsunade-sama!"

"Great, let's go! I need a drink!"

 **xxi.**

The restaurant buzzed with conversations and the sizzling of meat on grills. One had to concentrate to hear the radio.

Tsunade had requested a private booth and a bottle of sake. Tucked away in the corner of the restaurant Tsunade snatched Tenten's teacup and filled it to the brim with warm sake.

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune fought to keep her voice low. "You cannot give her alcohol, she is a minor!"

Tsunade ignored the advice and pushed the cup across the table.

"Drink, Tenten. It will help you relax."

Tenten looked down at the cup, unsure. She had never had more than a sip of sake before. Yet sitting before her was a cup of her own so full that the sake had sloshed over the edges and pooled on the table.

Had it been any other situation, she might have declined. But this was Tsunade - her hero and inspiration. She couldn't deny the request.

She picked up the cup. It was warm against her fingers. A little spilled over the edge and ran down her hand but Tenten ignored it. She felt the ceramic press against her lower lip and tipped the cup back. Warm, tart liquid filled her mouth. She lowered the cup and swallowed. Her face scrunched up. She gasped and shook her head, as if she could shake away the taste. The warmth from the sake slid down her throat and pooled into her belly. She looked up at Tsunade to see the Hokage smiling at her.

"Good, isn't it?" Tsunade said. She then filled her own cup and tossed it back, slamming it on the table, empty.

Tenten was surprised. She had barely survived a sip, Tsunade had swallowed it all in one fluid motion.

"Drink more!" Tsunade said. And she poured herself another cup before leaning over the table and topping off Tenten's half finished drink.

She took another sip, bigger this time, and found it went down a bit easier. Her belly felt warm and she felt her legs start to tingle. Her arms felt heavy and she smiled.

Tsunade poured herself another drink and then poured a reluctant-looking Shizune a drink.

"Tonight," she said, "we drink!" Tsunade raised her cup. Tenten shared a nervous glance with Shizune before they joined Tsunade in her toast.

 **xxii.**

Tenten had never been drunk before.

She couldn't really tell the difference between drunk and sober. She felt relaxed. Too relaxed, in fact. She was having trouble with her chopsticks - which her companions found hilarious. Tenten had to admit, after her third attempt at getting a piece of beef off the grill, that it _was_ pretty funny.

Besides the chopsticks, the only thing she noticed was that she was a bit more chatty than usual. And she had taken to speaking before her mind had finished forming the thought.

"I did have a dream once that Lee and Gai-sensei waxed their eyebrows!"

The table rang with laughter.

"What kinda mission can I give em that has waxed eyebrows as a requirement?" Tsunade looked up in thought and drummed her nails against the table.

"Just say somethin about Kakashi-sensei's eyebrows," Tenten said, "then Gai-sensei'll want eyebrows like his. And Lee wants whatever Gai-sensei wants."

"Shizune, don't forget this tomorrow. I'm making it your top priority!"

"Ok," said Shizune. She had been mostly quiet throughout dinner. Tenten suspected she didn't feel great.

Tenten slouched back in her seat. Her head felt heavy and her eyes drooped. Across the table Tsunade slouched forward and poked at a stray grain of rice with a chopstick. Her features were soft and lazy, her face flushed a light shade of pink, but Tenten thought she saw a glint of seriousness in her eyes.

"Tell me Tenten," she said, "whats buggin ya?"

Tenten giggled at the way Tsunade slurred her speech and sat up.

"Besides the fact that I can't feel my face?" She poked her cheeks for emphases. Tsunade and Shizune laughed.

"Yes, besides that."

Tenten shrugged her shoulders and fixed her eyes on Tsunade's grain of rice.

"It'ssa boy," said Shizune.

"Oh? Really?" Tsunade looked up and smiled.

"Mmm," Shizune continued, "I know that look. Cause of Dan. That's how you looked at'em all the time."

"Well, he was sooo cute," said Tsunade. She frowned. "I miss him."

"You should help Tenten with boys, it'll make ya feel better," said Shizune.

"Nononono!" Tenten waved her hands in front of her. "It's fine, there's no boys."

"You're not a good liar, Tenten," said Shizune, "Let'er help you."

Tenten squirmed in her seat. But before she could decide if she wanted to confess or not she started talking.

"Have you ever, uh, done the casual thing?"

Tsunade quirked an eyebrow.

"The casual thing?"

"You know..." Tenten could feel her face again. It warmed as blood surged and stained her cheeks. "Like sex."

"She means casual sex, Tsunade-sama," said Shizune.

"Ah, so you wanna know if I ever slept with someone just 'cause?"

"Yeah, but, like, a bunch of times. You know, like you and him go 'lets just have sex cause its fun.' You ever done that?"

"Well, I gotta say, I wasn't expecting anything close to that to come out of you," said Tsunade. "What's that about?"

"Just wondering."

"You know, most of the girls wonder what its like to be in love and how you know if they love you back. You just cut right to the chase, don't ya?"

Tenten shrugged and looked down at her empty cup.

"Well, I mean, if there isn't a chance for love, but there is a chance for sex would you take it?"

"Depends."

Tenten looked back up.

"On what?"

"Well, whether or not I had feelings for them. You can't substitute sex for love. Don't get me wrong - it feels great! But if its not gonna be love then you're just hurting yourself."

"I see."

"You sleepin' with someone?"

"N-no, I was just wondering."

Tsunade did not look entirely convinced. She picked up her cup and swirled the last sip of sake around before knocking it back. Tenten's ears ached when the empty cup slammed on the table.

"Sex is fun but love is better," Tsunade said.

Shizune nodded.

"There's a difference between hookin up and makin love," Tsunade said, "And, personally, I don't think yer old enough for either. But I'm not your mum n I wasn't much older than you when I met Dan and I know longevity isn't always a thing with the lives we lead n that we all grew up too soon. So, go do the deed if ya want, you might not get another chance. But its not the same as love n don't fool yourself thinkin it is cause only a fool can't tell the difference."

Tenten wondered exactly how much of a fool she was.

 **xxiii.**

She stumbled in the dark. Her hip bumped into a desk and she braced her hand on the surface. Her body lurched forward with the momentum. She corrected herself and moved around the desk.

Tenten pulled at the snaps on her shirt. She bit her lip and moved towards where she knew her goal to be.

Halfway across the room a lamp turned on. Neji was sitting up in bed, hair tousled, eyes narrowed but still heavy with sleep.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was bored." She shrugged her shirt off her shoulders and climbed onto the bed. She draped her arms over Neji's shoulders and kissed him. It was needy and lustful, but he pulled away.

She didn't care though and began to kiss his neck.

"Tenten..."

She ran her hands down his bare chest while her lips worked their way back up to his own.

He stopped her. They lingered inches apart and he wrinkled his nose.

"Are you drunk?"

Tenten scoffed.

"No. What makes you think that?"

"You smell like you've been drinking."

"That doesn't mean I'm drunk, Neji." But even she could hear the slur in her voice.

Neji sighed.

"How did you even get into the compound?"

"I walked."

"I figured as much. How did you get past the guards?"

"Neji," she narrowed her gaze, looking serious, and lowered her voice to a whisper. "I'm a ninja." She held her hands out in front of her, taking a fighting stance. She then collapsed into a fit of giggles.

Neji held her waist to keep her upright.

"Who gave you alcohol?"

"Pfft, like I'm gonna tell you mr. grumpy pants."

"Be serious Tenten."

"I ammmmm."

Neji was talking again but she wasn't listening. Her eyes had drifted up to his forehead. She poked the center of his curse mark.

"Damnit, Tenten!" He snatched her hand away and pushed her off of his lap. She panicked and climbed back onto him.

"Nonono, Neji!" She tried again, trapping him in a heady kiss. He entertained her this time. She pressed her hips into his and moaned. She pulled back and leaned into his ear. "I know you want me," she whispered. She then pressed her hips down again and giggled when he gasped. "I can tell."

She pressed her hand against his chest and guided him down to the bed. Once Neji was laying down she curled over his form and kissed him again. She felt his hands on her waist and trailed her own down his stomach. She traced the hem of his boxers before her fingers inched towards their goal. But her hand was stopped by his own.

"Not tonight, Tenten."

She grinned and tried again, but he stayed firm.

"Come on," she said, "don't you want me?"

"You're drunk."

"So?"

"It's not appropriate."

"People get drunk and have sex all the time."

"Not tonight."

"You're a jerk." She sat back on her heels and crossed her arms. "I shoulda stayed out with Tsunade-sama. She's not a jerk."

Neji sat up.

"Tsunade-sama, huh?"

"Yeah, she knows how to have fun."

"I can see that." Neji pushed her off of his lap. He got out of bed and scooped up her shirt. Neji opened a drawer on his dresser and pulled out a shirt for himself. When he got back to his bed he handed Tenten her shirt.

"Let's get you home."

She looked down at her shirt but made no move to get dressed. When Tenten looked back up she saw that Neji was about to put his shirt on.

"No!" She snatched the fabric from him and held it to her chest.

Neji leaned over, bringing their faces level.

Tenten glanced up at him. She felt like a child about to be scolded.

"I don't wanna go home." She looked down. Anywhere but at him. She was already prepared for the 'no.'

"Fine."

She looked back up.

"What?"

"You can stay."

Tenten smiled. Her eyes were watery, but she kept her composure.

Neji helped her stand up and she awkwardly shed her pants, her hand tight on his arm the whole time.

"Don't look," she had told him seriously.

He cracked a smile but had obeyed. Tenten ditched her bra and pulled the tshirt she'd stolen over her head. She tugged the buns out of her hair and yawned.

"Ok, I'm ready."

Neji's bed was tucked in the corner of his room. It was smaller than her own, but she didn't mind. She crawled into bed and nuzzled into the pillow that they would share. It smelled faintly of Neji. Her eyes fluttered shut. The last thing she remembered was the warmth of his body heat against her back.

 **xxiv.**

Tenten rose early. The room was tinted a light pink with the sunrise. The first thing she knew was that she was not in her own bed. She couldn't remember how she had ended up in Neji's room. But it was early and she didn't care. She suspected he could explain the pervious night later. Right now she was tired and had to pee.

She crawled out of bed with a bit of difficulty. She was squeezed between Neji and the wall. Tenten yawned and dragged her feet to the bathroom. She peed, scratched her eyes, and searched the medicine cabinet for a swig of mouthwash. Her tongue was thick with the taste of stale sake and she wanted it gone. Once her breath was fresh she took a drink from the sink and made her way back to bed.

She passed Neji on her way, her commotion having roused him. Tenten burrowed under the covers and listened to the muffled sounds of him moving around the bathroom. She was asleep before he got back.

The next time Tenten woke up she was overwhelmed by him.

A hand had slid up her shirt and fingers were stroking a taught nipple. She felt his lips on her neck and shoulder, pressing slow kisses against her skin.

She sighed and pushed her body up against his. Neji's other arm was under her neck and when Tenten cracked her eyes open she focused on his fingers.

She stretched out her own hand and played with the tips of his fingers. He captured her hand in his own. Only then did she look back, craning her neck to meet his gaze.

His eyes were warm and soft and Tenten felt a smile spread across her face.

Neji pulled his hand away from her breast and gently caressed her face. They kissed slowly and Tenten felt his arms close around her, their fingers still laced. She used her free hand to help herself squirm out of her underwear and felt him press his hips against her bottom. She sighed, trying to remember to keep her voice down.

They disentangled and Tenten pulled off her shirt while Neji shrugged out of his boxers.

When he pulled her back against him he kissed her neck again. Tenten shifted onto her back and Neji crawled over her. They kissed again and he pressed his hips forward. The room quickly filled with the quiet sounds of pants and moans, Tenten's being the most prominent.

Neji kept his face close to her, pressing kisses to her lips the whole time.

Tenten was overwhelmed by the intimacy. Neji had treated her with this level of tenderness before but it had always been in small bursts amid the panicked chaos of lust.

And although the pace drove her over the edge, his eyes never left hers for long and their lips met far more often.

There was a point where he paused and looked down at her.

"Tenten," he said.

"What is it?" she looked up at him and pushed his hair out of his face. She let her fingers linger on his chin.

"I..." he paused as if the rest of his sentence caught on his tongue.

Tenten felt her heart race. She couldn't fathom what he wanted to say. The childish and romantic part of her wanted him to declare his love but the insecure part of her was terrified he would tell her that their arrangement was no longer a good idea.

And although the former was just as probable as the latter, she feared the rejection far more than she wanted the declaration. So she clenched her muscles and lifted her hips. He gasped and lowered himself onto his elbows. He nuzzled into her neck and the conversation was forgotten.

* * *

 **A/N:** I know I said 5 parts, but this scene went on a little long so I decided to make it its own chapter. Please let me know what you thought and, as always, thanks for reading!


	6. my thoughts were so loud

Part 6 - my thoughts were so loud i couldn't hear my mouth.

 **xxv.**

Tenten felt a tingle in her spine. It was Neji's finger. It trailed down her back. She squirmed and rolled onto her back. He smirked.

She wondered what had compelled him to stay in bed.

She felt a thumb on her nipple. It felt nice. Tenten closed her eyes and sighed. She could die happy. His voice was low and relaxed. It seeped into her ears and raised her pulse.

"Aren't you curious?"

"Curious about what?"

"What you did last night."

"Mmm. What did I do?"

Neji took his time answering. His fingers traced over her while he mulled over his thoughts.

"It wasn't what you did... but said."

Tenten felt a lump in her throat. Her heart raced. What did she say? Her eyes snapped open and Neji chuckled.

"Have some secrets, Tenten?"

"That's not funny."

"I thought Team Gai had no secrets."

She shot him a dirty look. She could have hit him for making her think she'd let her tongue slip.

"Tell the truth."

"Well it would be interesting to say you did something outrageous or shared a surprisingly dark secret; you really did nothing of consequence."

Tenten relaxed. Neji frowned.

"But," he said, "you did stumble into my room and wake me up at two in the morning."

"Oh... yeah... Sorry about that."

"It's fine."

"Well, thanks for putting up with me."

"I've had practice."

Tenten laughed.

"I suppose years with Lee and Gai-sensei would prepare us well for dealing with drunk people."

"Hokage-sama helped as well." Neji's eyes narrowed slightly.

"I told you that, huh?"

"Yes."

"Well, I had a long day. I had to go on a mission with Lee." Tenten rolled onto her side. Neji looked very unconvinced. "You'd drink too if you had to put up with what I did."

"I thought it was just a small resupply mission."

"That's not the point."

"Then what did Lee do?"

Tenten shrugged. She suddenly felt silly. Lee really hadn't been any worse than usual. She was just more stressed than usual.

"I don't know... Nothing, really, I guess... It can just be hard to put up with him sometimes, especially without you or Gai-sensei."

"I see."

Tenten tugged at the blankets. She felt self conscious under his gaze.

"Is that all?"

"W-what do you mean?"

"It was just Lee that was bothering you?"

"Yeah... Of course. Just Lee."

Who was she trying to convince? She needed to change the subject.

"What about you?"

Neji was caught off guard.

"What about me?"

Now she needed a question. What could she ask him? Asking about his day would be normal, but it was early and her tongue was faster than her brain.

"What were you going to say... earlier?"

Wrong choice. It could have been a casual question, but they both knew what she meant. Tenten held her breath while he scrutinized her. He took his time answering.

"It was... nothing."

 **xxvi.**

The atmosphere in Tsunade's office was sprinkled with suppressed laughter and quizzical glances.

Between scarce mission details and swallowed laughs Tenten felt Tsunade's eyes on her. Specifically, darting between her and her teammates.

Some memories had surfaced over the days. Today's memory was about sex... namely Tenten's almost admission. She could see the Hokage thinking - wondering if and who Tenten had lain with.

Neji noticed the way Tsundae glanced at her and he, too, seemed to be trying to find the answer to some vague question.

Shiznue flipped through a stack of papers with a fierce determination to not look up. Her frame trembled with suppressed laughter.

She had looked up once. Her eyes met Tenten's - who almost lost it then and there.

Lee and Gai had waxed their brows.

 **xxvii.**

"Pleaaaasssssseeeeeeee Tenten!"

"No, Lee."

"But it's just _one_ more..."

The spandex had been shoved rather abruptly into Tenten's face when she'd opened her front door.

"I told you, Lee, there's no more room."

"Surely you can make room! It's just one."

Lee shook the jumpsuit for emphasis. Tenten snatched it from his hand. Behind the barrier of green stood Lee, eyes wide and watery.

"We've already talked about this," Tenten said. "I have allotted one personal scroll for the exams. We have no idea what we'll be expected to do or where we might go. All three of us have our stuff in there."

"But there must be some space!"

"There's no more room on the paper, Lee. I couldn't write another seal if I needed to."

Lee frowned. He opened his mouth to offer a final thought. Tenten silenced it by throwing his extra jumpsuit back at him. Lee caught it just before it hit his face, held it out in front of him and folded it neatly.

He tucked it into his jumpsuit. Tenten grimaced. What was the point of having an extra clean change of clothes if he was going to stick it somewhere it would get sweaty?

Lee noted her face and held a finger up in the air.

"You'll see, Tenten. This suit will be needed."

"Sure, that and the ladder."

Her sarcasm was not appreciated.

"If you two are finished," said Neji. He stepped forward, having distanced himself from their conflict. "We are going to be late for the first exam."

 **xxviii.**

Tenten's stomach growled. It wasn't enough to persuade her.

She was at her breaking point.

Her outburst towards Lee had been embarrassing enough. She needed distance to calm down.

So, she stayed, bottom firmly rooted into the rapidly chilling sand. A few more minutes wouldn't matter in the long run. Granted, her stomach seemed to think otherwise.

Lee had tried to coax her back into camp with the promise of dinner, but Tenten had declined. She understood his desire to make amends but she was stubborn.

Neji was the person she wanted to try and persuade her. She wanted him to step away from the fire and sit by her side until she was ready to surrender. So far he had remained silent.

He always knew better than her when she needed to be alone.

She hated that.

Still, Tenten could not stay away from the fire all night. She could already feel the cold seeping into her bones. And she needed to eat.

Tenten clenched her jaw. Her fingers were numb. Her stomach growled. But her stubbornness lingered. She would return to camp, but she wouldn't be happy about it.

She stood up and dusted her pants off. Her legs ached. Her joints were stiff. She trudged her way towards the glow of the fire.

The warmth was instant. Tenten stretched her fingers over the flames. Slowly, the ache began to recede.

The desert had been colder than she thought.

"We saved you some dinner."

Tenten turned towards the sound.

Neji came into the glow of the fire, a plate in his hand.

Tenten gnawed on the inside of her lip. She eyed the plate. A modest serving of Lee's questionable cooking had been set aside for her.

Tenten could tell that her pancake was cooked unevenly and she imagined Lee struggling over the fire. Tenten imagined the argument that she was sure ensued between Lee and Neji. Lee would have wanted Neji's help, so that he could proudly tell her _they_ had made dinner for her. But Neji would have most certainly refused to help, she thought. They disagreed on far too many things to prepare a meal together. She cracked a smile.

She accepted the plate, sat down by the fire, and ate. It was not the best meal she'd ever had, but it wasn't the worst either.

Neji draped a blanket over her shoulders and sat down next to her.

"I offered to take the first watch. You should finish eating and get some sleep."

"Lee's already asleep?"

"Yes."

"Ah."

"Would you like the second or third watch?"

Tenten poked at the last few bites on her plate.

"I don't care."

"Something bothering you?"

Tenten furrowed her brows. What was wrong with her team? How could they not see what was troubling her?

"You. Both of you."

Neji raised a brow.

Tenten began to unravel.

"How can you not understand," she hissed, "That I am not some tool for you all to use as you please?"

"Clearly this is about more than dinner."

Tenten scoffed.

"Of course it is!"

She tossed her plate aside and snapped her attention to Neji. Tenten pointed at him, scolding him, accusing him.

"All I _ever_ hear is 'Tenten, you're so convenient' and 'Tenten it's so good to have you and your scrolls here." She turned to him and lowered her voice to a whisper, "Tenten," she mocked, "you're such a good fuck."

Neji glared back, clearly wounded by her last remark.

"If you have a problem with our arrangement then you should tell me so," he said, "I am happy to stop."

Tenten winced. His words had been short and sharp. She felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her, as if he had stuck a knife into her chest and turned it slowly.

Could he really give her up that easily?

Tenten snapped her eyes back to the fire and clenched her jaw. She would not cry.

"I suppose Gai-sensei and Lee are right then… I'm just a convenience."

"You know better than to take what they say to heart."

"And what do _you_ have to say, Neji?"

She looked back at him. The conversation could no longer be avoided.

Neji seemed to be at a loss for words. His lips stretched into a thin line. Tenten watched the muscles in his jaw constrict. She realized, with a pang in her chest, that he had nothing to say.

That hurt more than Lee and Gai's words.

"I see," she said, "how eloquently put."

"Stop it, Tenten."

She turned away from him, crossed her arms and watched the fire. She felt his hand on her arm. She pulled away. Neji tried again, tightening his grip just enough to pull her closer to him. Neji lowered his voice.

"Don't put words in my mouth."

"If you don't want me to make assumptions then why don't you tell me what you really want to say?"

"I-" he paused.

Tenten looked back up at him.

"You're not convenient, Tenten."

After months of buildup, Tenten found his answer disappointing. But she let him continue.

"Something that is convenient, once used up, is easily forgotten." She felt him pull her a little closer. Their faces were inches apart. Her features softened. "You are not easily forgotten. We have been on the same team for six years. We have seen each other every day - and our worst and best. Do you really think I could cast you aside so easily?"

Tenten parted her lips, but she had no response. Her heart fluttered and her throat felt tight. She bit the tip of her tongue. She cursed herself. She was going to cry.

His next admission came out as little more than a whisper. It blindsided her.

"I love you."

She felt dizzy and nauseous. There was no way she had heard him properly.

"W-what?"

He didn't repeat himself. Instead he cupped her face and closed the distance between them. Tenten's mind was still reeling. She had a thousand thoughts before their lips met. She _had_ heard him right.

He _loved_ her.

Tenten remembered every kiss they'd exchanged. She remembered the sparks and fireworks that popped in her chest with the especially slow, tender kisses. Surely, now that they were in love there would be some sort of grand finale. Surely it would be the best kiss she ever had.

She exhaled sharply when their lips finally met, their heads twisting to avoid noses. Neji still held her arm with one hand and face with the other. Their tongues met and her eyes fluttered shut.

But there was no grand finale.

It stirred her no differently than she had perviously been stirred.

Yes, he would leave her breathless but she would find it again. They broke away slowly and Tenten met his half lidded gaze with her own.

And then she realized it.

His kiss felt no different for a reason.

It was because he had always loved her.

She remembered every moment he had paused to kiss her deeply and pleasure her slowly it had felt that way. It had been his way of trying to tell her. To show her.

She knotted her fingers into the sleeve of his shirt and felt two fat tears roll down her cheeks. She smiled.

"You love me?"

Neji nodded and smiled back at her.

"Very much."

She felt her fingers curl around his bicep. She leaned against him.

"How long?"

"Long before I agreed to kiss you."

Tenten felt overwhelmed.

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

"You proposed a casual arrangement."

Tenten rested her head on his shoulder.

"I thought that was all you wanted."

"Perhaps it was a subject that required a bit more communication."

Tenten laughed. That was putting it lightly.

"Perhaps."

Tenten closed her eyes and nuzzled into his shoulder. They passed several minutes in comfortable silence. She tuned into the pops and cracks of the fire and the slow, even movements of Neji's breathing. Tenten started to nod off when she remembered something.

She sat up abruptly and looked at Neji.

"I didn't tell you that I love you, did I?"

Neji chuckled.

"Not exactly, but I am not too worried."

Tenten blushed, realizing he was talking about her reaction to his admission.

"Well, I love you," she said. And she felt lighter for having said it. She kissed him. He slipped his arm around her waist and held her at his side.

Tenten pulled away and nuzzled back against his shoulder.

She couldn't remember being so happy. Tenten grinned and sat up, kissing him again. She fell into a pattern, too happy to sleep. Neji never turned her down.

"Lee might wake up," she said (after the seventh kiss).

"And?"

"If he catches us, won't his excitement drive you nuts?"

(the eighth kiss was teasing and chaste)

"It's fine."

It wasn't, and Tenten knew that. Lee would stir a migraine so intense that she was sure Neji might actually kill him. He would at least consider it.

But she also knew they were both tired of secrets. It was too much work. Besides, secrets were not part of a healthy relationship. Tenten was sick of heartache. She wanted love and happiness that she could share with the world. She suspected Neji felt the same.

Tenten kissed him again.

She kissed him, not to initiate sex and not because she was lonely. Finally, she kissed him, full on the lips, with no expectations.

She kissed him because he loved her.

She kissed him, again, because she could.

 **END**

* * *

 **A/N:** I want to give a special thanks to everyone who held on until the end! I know I slowed down between updates because I'm awful like that, but just finishing a story feels amazing! I hope you guys enjoyed reading this. Please let me know what you thought!


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